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It’s been a long while.
Jul. 17th, 2022 07:39 pmIt’s been a long while since I have posted. I ended up getting married, lost my best friend and first dog baby, and now have a new dog baby. It’s funny how life has taken a complete 180 on me, but I am so grateful that it did.
Married life is in fact not much different from before. Granted, Phil and I lived together beforehand so It’s not like we hadn’t technically been married already for almost three years of living together now. Our wedding was extremely beautiful, we were surrounded by so many loved ones. For our honeymoon, we decided to play tourist and went up to Myrtle Beach and stayed in a beach house for the week that my mom’s co-worker graciously let us stay in for free. Growing up, I was the baby of the office for a while, she refers to me as her State Farm baby. (That’s where my Mom works. I know, she hates it too.) We played games, drank, ate at many good places, shopped around, and had a lazy but also eventful relaxing trip. Of course we didn’t stay the whole week because another amazing thing happened and we moved from an apartment complex to a house that same month, so we wanted to get back to it and our fur babies.
I’d met some good friends through a mutual streamer back in April/May of last year, We got very close and ended up having a private discord server. I still speak to most of the people in that group I was closest to, but did lose some along the way. Although I miss the good times with most of those that I don’t speak to anymore, it’s honestly for the best. Since then, I have kept to myself. Half because I am tired of being to emotionally invested in friendships and end up getting hurt, and the other half I have just been focusing on being here and now in life. I spent a lot of time online talking to people and hanging out with them, though it’s very nice and really the only kind of friends I have, I was spending too much time on that and not my real life shit. One of my friends told me that just living life and doing stuff by yourself is so much nicer, and I can agree. At least at the current stage of life that I am in. I have so many things I still want to do online, like having an online presence such as streaming on Twitch, doing Tik Toks and even blogging right now; and I will slowly ease back into that.
A huge chunk of why I have been distant to those things is because Oscar passed away unexpectedly on May 7th. We’d gotten up that morning, did our morning potties and came back in and hung out in the bedroom for a while, at around close to 12, I eventually got up and they followed me into the living room, where I brought out clothes that needed to be folded, and turned on a Stephanie Harlow YouTube video to fold the laundry to. I decided today was going to be a good day. ‘
** START TRIGGER WARNING ABOUT MY DOG’S PASSING**
Oscar was sitting in his favorite spot as usual, the chair that sits to the left of the big window in our new living room. He was barking at passer-byers and who knows what else. It was one of his very favorite things to do. I even add a Tik Tok of our relaxing Saturday- that I would delete but still keep it on my phone.
I can’t remember if I was in the kitchen or if I was sitting right there starting to fold the laundry and just not looking. Before it happened, I had a bad feeling, I felt like he would fall and crash down on the table that laid in between the chairs with a lamp, a candle, and a incense burner on top of it, as he has done it before. I also thought about how annoying it was going to be to clean it up if he did in fact do that.
Then suddenly, the worst nightmare of my life happened. I heard a crash, and again, I can’t remember if I was sitting right there not paying attention or if I was in the kitchen; I think I was right there on the couch, because I looked over and saw that the table had fallen along with the contents that were on it, and Oscar, laying on the floor still barking out at the window. “You dummy,” I said at first, not knowing what was about to happen. “Look at what ya did!” As soon as I said that, Oscar’s barks turned into a cry I’ve never heard before, he slowly moved himself around to where he was facing outwards from the big window, and was slowly laying down. I ran over, of course, thinking he had maybe hurt his leg from falling (as he has hurt his little leg before in a separate event, poor corgis and their little legs) as I got over to him and kneeled down he was peeing on himself, I tried to look for cuts or blood or anything to see if maybe something broke and he hurt himself but I didn’t see anything. I moved his little paws around in my head and nothing seemed amiss, he was still crying and my immediate thought was to get him to the vet, I picked him up and as soon as I started trying to walk I felt my knees buckle beneath me. I couldn’t drive, I was having a panic attack, I brought Oscar over to the couch and laid him in my lap, the first person I called was my sister, but she didn’t answer. I called my mom, and thankfully she answered. I felt Oscar shaking in my arms, and somehow I knew he was having a seizure.
My sister eventually called back, she was on her way as I was working on trying to do CPR on Oscar, some part of me new he was already gone. When my sister did get there our mutual friends came as she called them, they lived right down the road from me so she thought they’d be able to get there quicker than her. We felt a faint heart beat, and thought there was hope, we rushed him to the nearest vet but unfortunately he did not make it. It was a very quick, traumatic, and scary experience. I always told myself if something like this ever happened to him when it wasn’t due to old age, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, and I didn’t for a good while. We eventually got to get him from the Pet Funeral home, and I got a nice box for his ashes. We were fortunate to be able to get his paw print from them as welll, and my husband and I are planning on getting tattoos of it on our shoulders where he used to lay his head. I miss my tookie boy ever single day, and I am still struggling with how he left me. I couldn’t afford an autopsy to determine the true cause, but based on how everything happened we believe he had a sudden seizure, which I read Corgis are “high risk” of having between the ages of 6 months to 6 years, and he’d turned 6 that October.
**END TRIGGER WARNING**
Since Oscar’s passing, I have been distracting myself with hobbies such as diamond painting, and playing games with my friends here and there. Between the inflation of groceries, gas prices, and my credit card debt things have been stressful, but Phil and I are managing to make it work.
I reached out to the people we’d gotten Oscar from, wanting to be put on the waitlist for another male Corgi. My plan was always to get Oscar a brother eventually, but we ended up getting him a sister instead, Daisy a lab and beagle mix. She’s a mess but very sweet. The people eventually reached back out to me and I was put on the list. I figured the next litter probably wouldn’t be until closer to Fall/Winter, and I felt like that was enough time to where I’d be ready for another puppy. They reached out to me the beginning of June and told me they had three red and white males available and sent pictures, as I was opening the message to read fully, I was going to tell her it was a little too soon, but then I saw one of the males and fell head over heels for him. He would be ready by June 15th as long the vet cleared him.
It is now June 17th, and Tucker is now home with us. He did great on the ride back home considering it was a 4 hour drive, and has been adjusting so well here. You’d think that he’s always lived here! Daisy is happy to have a brother again, even if he bites her tail constantly, and Min (my cat) is doing surprisingly well with him. My heart is so happy and full.
Phil and I have recently started watching Bleach. I’ve never seen it but now I am addicted. We’re in Season 2 now in the Soul Society Arc, so I definitely cannot wait until we watch it again, which will hopefully be tomorrow when he gets off of work.
I will try and upload some pictures here of Tucker and my wedding eventually so everyone can see. I am hoping to get back into my writing the book I want to write too. I started it but then stopped of course, and now my mind is wandering with ideas for it.
Married life is in fact not much different from before. Granted, Phil and I lived together beforehand so It’s not like we hadn’t technically been married already for almost three years of living together now. Our wedding was extremely beautiful, we were surrounded by so many loved ones. For our honeymoon, we decided to play tourist and went up to Myrtle Beach and stayed in a beach house for the week that my mom’s co-worker graciously let us stay in for free. Growing up, I was the baby of the office for a while, she refers to me as her State Farm baby. (That’s where my Mom works. I know, she hates it too.) We played games, drank, ate at many good places, shopped around, and had a lazy but also eventful relaxing trip. Of course we didn’t stay the whole week because another amazing thing happened and we moved from an apartment complex to a house that same month, so we wanted to get back to it and our fur babies.
I’d met some good friends through a mutual streamer back in April/May of last year, We got very close and ended up having a private discord server. I still speak to most of the people in that group I was closest to, but did lose some along the way. Although I miss the good times with most of those that I don’t speak to anymore, it’s honestly for the best. Since then, I have kept to myself. Half because I am tired of being to emotionally invested in friendships and end up getting hurt, and the other half I have just been focusing on being here and now in life. I spent a lot of time online talking to people and hanging out with them, though it’s very nice and really the only kind of friends I have, I was spending too much time on that and not my real life shit. One of my friends told me that just living life and doing stuff by yourself is so much nicer, and I can agree. At least at the current stage of life that I am in. I have so many things I still want to do online, like having an online presence such as streaming on Twitch, doing Tik Toks and even blogging right now; and I will slowly ease back into that.
A huge chunk of why I have been distant to those things is because Oscar passed away unexpectedly on May 7th. We’d gotten up that morning, did our morning potties and came back in and hung out in the bedroom for a while, at around close to 12, I eventually got up and they followed me into the living room, where I brought out clothes that needed to be folded, and turned on a Stephanie Harlow YouTube video to fold the laundry to. I decided today was going to be a good day. ‘
** START TRIGGER WARNING ABOUT MY DOG’S PASSING**
Oscar was sitting in his favorite spot as usual, the chair that sits to the left of the big window in our new living room. He was barking at passer-byers and who knows what else. It was one of his very favorite things to do. I even add a Tik Tok of our relaxing Saturday- that I would delete but still keep it on my phone.
I can’t remember if I was in the kitchen or if I was sitting right there starting to fold the laundry and just not looking. Before it happened, I had a bad feeling, I felt like he would fall and crash down on the table that laid in between the chairs with a lamp, a candle, and a incense burner on top of it, as he has done it before. I also thought about how annoying it was going to be to clean it up if he did in fact do that.
Then suddenly, the worst nightmare of my life happened. I heard a crash, and again, I can’t remember if I was sitting right there not paying attention or if I was in the kitchen; I think I was right there on the couch, because I looked over and saw that the table had fallen along with the contents that were on it, and Oscar, laying on the floor still barking out at the window. “You dummy,” I said at first, not knowing what was about to happen. “Look at what ya did!” As soon as I said that, Oscar’s barks turned into a cry I’ve never heard before, he slowly moved himself around to where he was facing outwards from the big window, and was slowly laying down. I ran over, of course, thinking he had maybe hurt his leg from falling (as he has hurt his little leg before in a separate event, poor corgis and their little legs) as I got over to him and kneeled down he was peeing on himself, I tried to look for cuts or blood or anything to see if maybe something broke and he hurt himself but I didn’t see anything. I moved his little paws around in my head and nothing seemed amiss, he was still crying and my immediate thought was to get him to the vet, I picked him up and as soon as I started trying to walk I felt my knees buckle beneath me. I couldn’t drive, I was having a panic attack, I brought Oscar over to the couch and laid him in my lap, the first person I called was my sister, but she didn’t answer. I called my mom, and thankfully she answered. I felt Oscar shaking in my arms, and somehow I knew he was having a seizure.
My sister eventually called back, she was on her way as I was working on trying to do CPR on Oscar, some part of me new he was already gone. When my sister did get there our mutual friends came as she called them, they lived right down the road from me so she thought they’d be able to get there quicker than her. We felt a faint heart beat, and thought there was hope, we rushed him to the nearest vet but unfortunately he did not make it. It was a very quick, traumatic, and scary experience. I always told myself if something like this ever happened to him when it wasn’t due to old age, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, and I didn’t for a good while. We eventually got to get him from the Pet Funeral home, and I got a nice box for his ashes. We were fortunate to be able to get his paw print from them as welll, and my husband and I are planning on getting tattoos of it on our shoulders where he used to lay his head. I miss my tookie boy ever single day, and I am still struggling with how he left me. I couldn’t afford an autopsy to determine the true cause, but based on how everything happened we believe he had a sudden seizure, which I read Corgis are “high risk” of having between the ages of 6 months to 6 years, and he’d turned 6 that October.
**END TRIGGER WARNING**
Since Oscar’s passing, I have been distracting myself with hobbies such as diamond painting, and playing games with my friends here and there. Between the inflation of groceries, gas prices, and my credit card debt things have been stressful, but Phil and I are managing to make it work.
I reached out to the people we’d gotten Oscar from, wanting to be put on the waitlist for another male Corgi. My plan was always to get Oscar a brother eventually, but we ended up getting him a sister instead, Daisy a lab and beagle mix. She’s a mess but very sweet. The people eventually reached back out to me and I was put on the list. I figured the next litter probably wouldn’t be until closer to Fall/Winter, and I felt like that was enough time to where I’d be ready for another puppy. They reached out to me the beginning of June and told me they had three red and white males available and sent pictures, as I was opening the message to read fully, I was going to tell her it was a little too soon, but then I saw one of the males and fell head over heels for him. He would be ready by June 15th as long the vet cleared him.
It is now June 17th, and Tucker is now home with us. He did great on the ride back home considering it was a 4 hour drive, and has been adjusting so well here. You’d think that he’s always lived here! Daisy is happy to have a brother again, even if he bites her tail constantly, and Min (my cat) is doing surprisingly well with him. My heart is so happy and full.
Phil and I have recently started watching Bleach. I’ve never seen it but now I am addicted. We’re in Season 2 now in the Soul Society Arc, so I definitely cannot wait until we watch it again, which will hopefully be tomorrow when he gets off of work.
I will try and upload some pictures here of Tucker and my wedding eventually so everyone can see. I am hoping to get back into my writing the book I want to write too. I started it but then stopped of course, and now my mind is wandering with ideas for it.
